meatpaddy.net

I’m so sick of the fact that my course (a class of 17) is so overly dominated by females (13-4 if you must know). Every conversation seems to be about jeans, nice tops, ‘that girl is a bitch’, ‘that guy is an arsehole’, or my favourite from today: cramping down there.

At first, being in a class full of girls seemed like a great idea. But two or three months in, I’m getting very over it very quickly. Of the other three guys in my class, one is gay in a “hey girlfriend!” kind of way (so the topics seem to be similar to the girls’), one turns up probably one sixth of the time (and we don’t have much in common anyway), and the other always disappears with the girl who talks about cupcakes. This leaves me with the other girls while they talk about cramps and every other person in our class behind their back. Their solution when I complained, was to change the topic do ‘would you date a vegetarian’… (I mean, seriously now).

After going to high-school with males only, I never thought I’d want to hear another stereotypical cringe-worthy conversation about ’sticking my meat into her moot’ or ‘tittyfucking’… but, by god, it’d be better than ‘pads or tampons’.

I cannot stand school students on trains. They don’t move fully into the carriages. They push each other. They don’t stand up for old ladies with diabetes. They have shocking body odour. They make way too much noise. They find it hillarious to scream “come back to bed!” as soon as anyone answers a phone. They have their music blaring through their earphones at a level which means I can hear their music more clearly than my own. They leave shit all over the floor. The boys talk about their pubes, whether their balls have dropped and who they’d rather fuck. The girls hike up their skirts looking like lower class hookers, giggle about handsome teachers and talk about who they’d rather fuck. They run through the carriages. They leave the inter-connecting doors open so they bash for the whole train trip. They find it hilarious to speak along with the announcements (it isn’t). They leave their bags and congregate in the most inappropriate places. They fart and laugh about it (which is only funny when I do it, not them). They write ‘cunt‘ everywhere for a purpose I’m still unsure of. I want to kill them all. They ruin my afternoons.

Bored out of my brain on the way to uni this morning, I was thinking of things I wish I had the guts to do…

1. Throw a burger at a drive-thru operator
2. Tell a rude customer to get fucked
3. Speed away from a petrol station without paying
4. Ram an ignorant driver
5. Turn down a commuter’s overly loud iPod
6. Steal candy from a baby
7. Put coins down visible arse cracks
8. Drive through a closed boom gate
9. Throw out all my old CDs
10. Request (then lead) ‘Thriller’ in a nightclub

…sadly, but truthfully - chances are, excluding #9, I’ll probably never get to do any of these in the ideal and purposeful attitude that I have in my head now. If you are too lame to list your own ten things you wish you had the guts to do; comment and leave me one.