meatpaddy.net

Hey there Mr Ryan!
Its been far too long, hows things back home?? Wat’ve u and all the others been up to?? Howd exams go??

Things over here are going awesome, having so much fun. Just left the Croatian Islands where the water is as blue as ure eyes and the sea urchins are as black as ure hair ha ha. But seriously it was just like paradise, like 32 degrees and sunny as hell everyday. We hired scooters one day and just went hooning round the mountains looking for little beaches etc.

Have I ever hated Australia even more?! No joke, over 50% of my friends are overseas at the moment. About 20% of them went on GAP years at the start of the year (mostly in England), a couple of them went to Canada to be ski instructors and continued traveling after the season finished, some are interstate in other universities, and the rest have left for Europe or America in the last few months to go traveling just for shits and giggles. That email excerpt was from one of my best mates - and I have never had such a bitter look on my face.

What was I thinking when I did said “no, not going to travel! Going to start my degree and get it over and done with! I’m the smart one!”. To make the situation worse, another friend who left on Monday is meeting up with that mate, a couple of other guys I went to school with, and the girl I was seeing before she left in January and a whole bunch of her friends for a week in a little villa in Spain. 

Australia sucks. Bronnie - it’s time for us to finally have that drink. Does a little house in the south of France suit you?

Random Number: Ron who are you to try get my wife to home with you sick fuck i never forget a face i seen you at pex

My Number: (Erin): I didn’t try. I fuckin got her

Random Number: How where is she now. When did you get her

My Number: (Erin & Ash): Had to tie the barking bitch up last night. Neighbours complained so much. So sorry mate. Whats doin tonight ?

Random Number: I will be fucking you up and then screwing her. You kid fucker

My Number: (Paddy): Wait… Dad, is that you?

No response message… we think he figured out he’d gotten the wrong number by this stage.

Dear Homeboys and Homegirls,

I do realise that I haven’t updated since February 21 (and it is now April 6), but blame-me-not for I have not had time nor motivation, and and one stage, a computer… you know, so don’t be hatin’. There are a few things to tell you all about.

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First day of the course today. Luckily I knew one of the girls doing the course with me…

Me: “Should we go over and socialise?”
Her: “Yeah, we don’t want to look like the antisocial bitchy people who judge.”
Me: “OK, we’ll go introduce ourselves to them.”
Her: “No, not them… they’re sluts.”

Also, I seem to be having trouble quitting the job mentioned in the last post. I quit; yet I’ve got phone calls the last two days asking for my uni timetable so she can roster me on. Since when does “I can’t work for you anymore” mean “give me more shifts”?