I don’t know what’s more disgusting..:
On a side note, I’m going to Queensland for a week in less than 30 something hours! It will be good to get away from the house, the job, the family and the cold.
I’ve decided, after thinking about it for nearly nineteen years, that my mother is highly inappropriate. It’s not the fact that she has a glass of wine poured for me when I get home after uni, work or breakfast. It’s not the fact that she’s told me on numerous occasions to “fuck off” when my question hasn’t reached past “Mum..”. It’s not the fact that she challenges my friends to burping contests. And it’s not even the fact that she still finds it hillarious to write ‘cunt’ instead of ‘can’t’ in text messages (what’s going on?! The C word in two posts in a row!). But it’s because of the emails she sends me, my sister, my cousins and her friends.
Take this one for example. You’d think an email with subject World’s Happiest Couple, would be a nice poem or photo of two 80 somethings in knitted cardigans eating thick soup. When questioned by my cousin’s girlfriend “is that you and your ex-boyfriend?”, my mum’s reply: “if that was my ex-boyfriend I never would have left him!”. Vomit.
But as inappropriate as she is: you’ve gotta love her. I know lots of nice mums, but never one with the wicked [sick, twisted] sense of humour that mine has. I just wish she weren’t so dense. “Hey Paddy, do you think the image has been altered?”. Forgive her, Lord, for she is not as blessed as others.
She’s also developed a sick obsession with Borat. Her text message tone is Borat’s voice belting “You have new text message! Hhhhigh five!”. She also took a life-size cardboard cut-out of Borat from HMV (with the manager’s permission) and carried it around the shopping centre until she was ready to leave. She’s got his books, his DVDs, posters and more. Someone cut her loose!
…anyone willing to challenge the crazy, inappropriate mother story?
Dear Homeboys and Homegirls,
I do realise that I haven’t updated since February 21 (and it is now April 6), but blame-me-not for I have not had time nor motivation, and and one stage, a computer… you know, so don’t be hatin’. There are a few things to tell you all about.
They (who is ‘they‘ anyway) say that there are three keys to happiness. In order to have happiness, you have to have a good job, a good place to live and good relationships. After my job interview today, and a ever-so-increasing development with a beautiful girl at my old job, I’m almost in pure ecstasy. The job (Happiness Key #1) will also lead me to being able to afford to move out (Happiness Key #2). Let’s not talk about how Happiness Key #2 can make Happiness Key #3 better… we already all know.
Thanks to my sister, I’ve scored myself a job in one of Sydney’s best cafe/restaurants and although nervous, I reckon it’ll be sick mattteeeee totally wickedddd. But I have a question to pose to you all. How do you quit?!
Being at the cafe I’m currently working in for three years, I’ve developed a pretty close relationship with my boss and his family, who I now occasionally see outside of work. I know me leaving will cause issues, especially since I can only give one weeks notice; but if I ever want to move on, I have to do it. I feel awful for ditching them, particularly after their rather generous Christmas bonus, and I am absolutely dreading my Sunday shift when I plan to tell them they’ve got to replace me.
Any suggestions???
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I hear the five people below get around.
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